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Boosie BadAzz: Math, Homosexuality Expert

A few days before the Fourth of July, I saw a story reporting Baton Rouge native Boosie BadAzz (née Lil Boosie, née Torrence Hatch) had recently said some rather remarkable things about the relentlessness of the alleged gay agenda in culture and its influence on society, particularly children.

I planned on bringing up that topic on the next episode of The Red Shtick Podcast. However, before we could record another episode, a Baton Rouge police officer killed Alton Sterling, the first in a series of events this summer that prompted both President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, as well as multiple cabinet members, to visit our troubled area.

In other words, I got distracted. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Nevertheless, even though I’m a couple months late in covering this issue, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t give Boosie’s (I hope he doesn’t mind me calling him by his first name) notable comments the coverage they’re due.

The rapper was asked in an interview by DJ Vlad to clarify previous comments he had made about the LGBT community and the presence of gay characters on TV.

“They trying to make everyone all fucking gay. That’s what I think,” he replied. “They’re putting it on our culture, they’re putting it everywhere. Gay stuff is everywhere, and I think they’re just trying to do it to make monetary gain. You know, they’re not doing it for the gays. They’re not really fans of the gays.”

Boosie’s assessment of today’s pop culture gives the phrase “gay for pay” a whole new meaning. Or should that be “a hole new meaning”? Either way, it’s a pretty extraordinary take.

He went on to examine the alleged influx of gay characters in children’s programming and the undue influence such alleged characters have over the sexual orientation of the youngsters watching them.

Boosie’s assessment of today’s pop culture gives the phrase “gay for pay” a whole new meaning. Or should that be “a hole new meaning”?

“You got cartoons that they have gays. On cartoons. Like, these are kids. Let kids make their own decision if they want to go that way,” he stated.

Yeah, all those cartoons out there with gays on them. You know.

At least, I hope you know, because I sure don’t have a clue what animated kids’ shows he’s referencing. But then again, I don’t have kids, and he has seven, so I guess I’ll have to take his word for it.

“What if they like how that cartoon talk? Now you’re forcing them to be gay,” he said.

Yes, every time a child watches a show with gay characters, that child is inescapably forced to be gay. It’s just like when a kid hears a Boosie BadAzz song, he or she is destined to spend time in prison. Because, you know. Influence.

Seriously, though, if anyone knows anything about being a bad influence on children, it’s Boosie BadAzz.

“It wasn’t like that when I was coming up. The Ninja Turtles wasn’t kissing. They didn’t have two men on The Flintstones kissing. The Jetsons wasn’t kissing,” he continued.

But theyre not kissing.
But they’re not kissing.

Maybe those shows didn’t feature hot, man-on-man, tongue-down-the-throat action, but all three of them had talking animals. So by Boosie logic, he grew up to become an adult who believes animals can talk, including birds that can also play records with their beaks. (I can’t imagine how many poor, innocent birds have perished because they couldn’t play one of his albums.)

Also, Hanna-Barbera may not have shown Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble making out, but you can’t tell me a straight man married to Betty Rubble would even dream of sleeping in a separate bed. I knew that was some gay shit before I even knew what gay was.

Hell, they literally sang about having “a gay old time” before every episode! They might as well have called Bedrock ‘Stonewall.'”

By Boosie logic, he grew up to become an adult who believes animals can talk, including birds that can also play records with their beaks.

Boosie later claimed that, because children are being exposed to an overwhelming presence of gay characters on TV, approximately half of humanity will be homosexual in a decade.

“That shouldn’t be put on a child, whose mind is not developed to think for theyself anyway at that age. That shouldn’t be put on a child. And it’s going to show in the world. You going to have, I say in 10 years, you’re going to have damn near half the population gay because of what they put on TV.”

Half the world will be gay in 10 years? What an astounding projection. Ten years is not a lot of time to go from 10% to 50% of the world’s population being gay. Hurricane Katrina struck 11 years ago. And that supposedly happened because there were too many gay people back then.

Making Boosie’s prediction that Earth’s homosexual demographic will quintuple by 2026 even more staggering is the fact he based his projection on kids being “forced” to be gay. According to the CIA’s World Factbook, approximately 27% of the world’s population is below 15 years of age (which is when most kids stop watching gay cartoons, I assume). This means, according to Boosie, gay people will go from constituting 10% of the world’s population to 50% by turning less than 30% gay, because … math.

Then again, perhaps Boosie foresees some sort of calamity that will kill off billions of people over the age of 30, thus making people under the age of 15 the majority demographic? And repopulating the Earth will be made much more difficult due to the fact half the world will be gay?

Or maybe we’ll see some sort of outrageous baby boom in the next few months, perhaps prompted by all the gay shows on TV. And that baby boom will produce billions of children who all will grow up to be gay, not only because they’ll constantly be exposed to homosexual animated characters but because their conceptions all were inspired by the gay TV agenda.

In any event, Boosie said he was shocked by all the “gay shit” when he got out of the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola in 2014 after spending less than five years there following a guilty plea to drug charges.

Perhaps it takes a few years being locked up at Angola to be able to see the cocksucker lifestyle everywhere you look.

“I came home and I was like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ I was like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ It was out of hand,” he said.

I had no idea things had gotten so gay on TV between late 2009 and early 2014. Of course, I was free and watching TV the whole time, so maybe I just didn’t notice. Perhaps it takes a few years being locked up at Angola to be able to see the cocksucker lifestyle everywhere you look.

Earlier in the interview, Boosie clarified, “I don’t hate gay people at all. I know plenty gay people.” Later, when asked what he would do if one of his kids told him he or she was gay, the rapper replied, “I’ll probably slap his ass back straight,” adding, “Imma kick his ass. And maybe he’ll realize that he’s not gay.”

I can’t help but wonder if Boosie’s tried slapping his gay acquaintances’ asses back straight, or kicking their asses. Because, you know, he so doesn’t hate gay people, he can’t help but want to help them realize that maybe they aren’t really gay.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop


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About Jeremy White

Jeremy White
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth. He managed to overcome the obstacles presented by his technical background, and has brilliantly devised a way to make a living making fun of people.

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