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Adult Film Executives Endorse Donald Trump for President

Off the WireClaiming his presidency would be much more beneficial to their business than a Hillary Clinton administration, several adult film studio heads have thrown their support behind Donald Trump’s bid for the White House.

Executives from major adult entertainment production companies — such as Vivid Entertainment, Wicked Pictures, and Hustler Video — insist having Trump in the Oval Office would provide them much more material for one of their most profitable genres.

“Our parody productions are consistently among our most popular videos,” boasted Steven Hirsch, founder and co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment. “Not only would a Trump administration afford us the opportunity to produce infinitely more parodies than a Clinton presidency, but customers would actually want to watch them.”

Hirsch insisted Trump’s family — including his wife, Melania; his daughter, Ivanka; and Trump’s ex-wives — is rife with potential for pornographic spoofing.

“There’s his ridiculously hot daughter he not-so-secretly wants to bang. Who wouldn’t want to see a threesome with Ivanka, her dad, and Melania? I’m getting hard just brainstorming here. Make America hard again! Vote Trump!”

 

“He might be old, but he’s got a smoking-hot former model who’s half his age for a wife. She and Trump could have orgies with his ex-wives Ivana and Marla Maples,” Hirsch explained. “And then there’s his ridiculously hot daughter he not-so-secretly wants to bang. Who wouldn’t want to see a threesome with Ivanka, her dad, and Melania? I’m getting hard just brainstorming here. Make America hard again! Vote Trump!”

Hustler founder and Chairman Larry Flynt, whose Hustler Video released a Trump campaign parody earlier this year, maintains he hasn’t seen a presidential candidate this potentially beneficial to his industry since 2008.

“No one on the national political scene has had so much promise to spawn so many satirical videos since Sarah Palin,” said Flynt, adding that adult film star Lisa Ann, who portrayed Palin in five Hustler Video pornographic spoofs, is “Tina Fey with huge knockers and an ass for days. That’s why I’m supporting Trump.”

A Clinton victory in November, on the other hand, would lead to the production of very few, less-popular productions of presidential porn parodies, according to Wicked Pictures founder Steven Orenstein.

“Who wants to see a Hillary porno? Chelsea is meh, the ‘Bill Clinton screwing everything that moves’ angle was played out over a decade ago, and if it weren’t for (veteran adult film actress) Nina Hartley, no one in the business would be willing to play Hillary,” Orenstein claimed. “And while Nina still looks great, and I appreciate her still working in the business, you’re talking about a very niche audience who wants to see a 57-year-old woman getting plowed. Trump 2016!”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

 

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About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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