Pennington Study: Louisiana Residents Nothing but a “Bunch of Fat Bastards”

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Off the Wire

An 18-month-long Pennington Biomedical Research Center clinical trial concludes that Louisiana is a bunch of disgusting, overweight pigs.

Some residents would deep-fry their immortal souls if they could.

The study published last month provided conclusive evidence that the state’s affinity for fried fatty foods has left residents “nothing more than a listless pile of pathetic, fat bastards,” wrote nutritionist and lead author of the study, Dr. Vijay Argawal. Some residents would deep-fry their immortal souls if they could, he said.

“The people here are swimming in so much saturated fat, they don’t need a diet, they need a goddam methadone clinic,” Argawal concluded.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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