The National Football League is insisting the area around the Mercedes-Benz Superdome be free of “dregs, savages, and the genetically inferior” during this year’s Super Bowl.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu to provide an “ethnically clean zone” extending one mile in all directions around the Superdome or risk not getting another Super Bowl as long as he’s in charge.
“We can’t very well invite the world to a city replete with violent, untamable savages and inbred, genetic freaks without taking such measures.”
The league has called for a force composed of hundreds of NOPD officers, National Guardsmen, and secret police members to sweep the area “street by street, door by door, purging the zone of its feral, subhuman infestation, preferably by force.”
Goodell said the ethnic cleansing is necessary to help protect the NFL’s brand.
“We can’t very well invite the world to a city replete with violent, untamable savages and inbred, genetic freaks without taking such measures to help mitigate the immense, inherent risk to Super Bowl visitors,” Goodell said.
Goodell explained that while fans from Baltimore are used to living in a city with more than its fair share of lowlifes and degenerates, it pales in comparison to the Crescent City.
The commissioner said the city’s purification is only temporary, insisting that those individuals rounded up in the sweeps will be “released back into the wild” in the days after the big game.